“You must increase and I must decrease.”John 3:30
In the past few months, God has really been working in me. He has been unravelling hints, teaching me patience and helping me to look both inward and outward to heal, repair and grow. I know these are small yet heavy words to put out there but He really has been at work and when I sit to really be consistent with my prayer time, He shows me how He is such a personal God.
A few months ago, I quit a very toxic and anxiety stricken job to finally decide to do part-time freelance work, which in the museum art and cultural space sounds fun but means really pushing for projects and a steady salary in an already underpaying field here in India. A decision that only God made possible with the strength He gave me to execute and follow through. I came to this decision only through God’s employment and willingness that He sneakily and purposefully placed in my heart along with a ton of strength to quit. He provided me with opportunities even before I could seek them out myself. That is how giving and personal He is, tending to my needs before I let doubt and anxiety cripple me.
I determinedly prayed for a schedule where I could not only have work I enjoy, but time to myself to keep growing in my faith (learn more about my faith), and be social (again, post-Covid and embracing the supposedly “new” normal), discern and navigate being single, show up in my relationships both old and make room for the new. I sit now writing about how God has within the span of two months done all of the above without my even realising it!
I have part-time work with more opportunities slowly presenting themselves and God is teaching me patience in the waiting of seeing these opportunities come together and advocating for myself in this field I am so passionate about. He makes all things possible. I have had and continue to have time to do personal prayer each day, read more books (even listen to books) and podcasts, exercise (work in progress to be honest), say yes to serving opportunities that I can actually commit to and be comfortable enough in my skin to show up at social events and actually be so bold to happily attempt to venture into new unfamiliars.
I would encourage you, no matter what your circumstances may be at the moment and how things might be placed for you. Take a moment to quieten your heart and just give 5 minutes to reflection – I’m sure you will realise God’s hand in so much that has happened to you today, this week or past month or year. Unknowingly, God is at play, especially in the moments we fail to even recognise and give thanks for.
I continue to be overwhelmed by God’s love and the way He shows me that He is who I need to turn to, He is the one I can rely on when the world tends to disappoint or fall short, that I am strengthened in His ways and provisions far more. He is definitely filling my cup to have an outward facing heart of gratitude. I know He is preparing my impatient heart to be patient with His timing for lots and lots more to come!
This article first appeared in November 24, 2021, in The Lovely Commission, a Kairos related program for Christian women. Since its birth in August 2014, The Lovely Commission has provided an online space for women to grow and thrive as disciples of Christ. In 2021, the landscape for women can often be exhausting, disheartening and confusing. We want to do our part in the midst of this to point to Christ!
Top image of a woman reading a book in bright sunlight: illustration from ChristianPhotoshops.com, © by Kevin Carden.