Today, 17th of May 2020, my fiancé and I both thought that we’ll be heading to the altar.
But here we are – in a global pandemic. Most life events celebrations have been altered, postponed or suddenly put on hold. This season has been challenging for everyone on the globe.
One of the many challenges we’ve been facing, as soon-to-be-husband-and-wife, is uncertainty.
I have recently learned to welcome the reality of uncertainty into my life, and to embrace it. The more I encountered uncertainty, the more I learned to appreciate its beauty, the more I was peaceful with God’s plan for our lives and his proper timing. The only power I really have against this uncertainty is my faith in Jesus Christ and my reassurance that God is in control. His love for both of us is beautiful and fierce, like a storm that shakes the foundations of mountains. God’s love has been shaking our foundations, intending to secure a solid rock base, upon which He wants to build a truly joyful life for us that is joined with Him.
Trusting God in what we cannot control, giving ourselves away to that which is not completely known to us is the faith that Christ asks of us. A mustard-seed faith capable of moving mountains – mountains of great unknowns in our lives. Climbing those mountains, sailing those stormy seas, walking those crooked paths, knowing that the One we seek, will come to find us. And then, we will finally be able to gaze upon His Love, a love that strips away everything that is not of Him, that we no longer see anything, except Him.
This pandemic has helped me to learn a lot about my human limitations. More and more I’ve come to realize how fragile our human condition is, how powerless we can be in uncertain circumstances. I am finally coming to realize that my limitations, my strengths, my desires, my flaws, my thoughts and dreams, my anxieties are not an obstacle to finding my path to God. They ARE a real part of the path and “narrow gate” God uses to lead us.
Getting married in a pandemic
From the beginning, for both of us, it has always been about the sacrament of marriage, and witnessing together our faith in Christ, who is our rock.
Facing a lot of challenges, out of which also the worst economic crisis that Lebanon is going through, had me also worry that those challenges would take our energy away from what truly matters – our love. This had me realize that our vows have started even before our wedding: “to have and to hold, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part” apply now, more than ever before.
On a practical level, we chose to transform our 300 plus guest-list into a 50 close family members and friends, whereby the rest would be invited to watch a livestream of the ceremony online. We scheduled a new date and are working our way around it, but again, it’s still uncertain since our country might go into complete lockdown again.
We are still “uncertain” of how things will end up, but very certain that Christ will be at the very center: He will be present for us on our wedding day. Christ will redeem everything we “lost”. His presence amongst us is and will always be the only reassurance we need.
This reflection was first published on Sabine Terky’s iThirstforChrist blog post, dated May 17, 2020.
Sabine and her husband Serge recently married on June 7th. They are members of the People of God community in Lebanon.
Photo credits: © Sabine Terky