The Dreaded Patriarchy (Part 2)

Feminism, relativism, secularism, nihilism, and most other modern philosophies have a common similarity: they offer something (apparently) good. Most of these “isms” are like a poison apple: they look appealing, but it comes at a cost. 

One example of this is feminism: it offers apparent positives: equal pay for equal work, voting rights, etc., and then devolves into negatives: toxic masculinity, a derision of homemakers, reproductive rights (abortion on demand), a distorted emphasis on female superiority, a rejection of the patriarchy – family, church, and Trinity.  Their cultural influence is so sweeping that many of these values have been absorbed and put into practice by family, leaders, church leaders, psychologists, sociologists, etc. 

Feminism has done significant damage to the Christian way of life at the family level and at the church leadership level. We will explore some of the arguments later, but we need to realize that we have absorbed certain things that may not be true just by growing up in a culture or an education system. 

Many Christian men take a worldly approach to their family responsibilities, and why wouldn’t they? It’s easier; if everyone, even your pastor, is extoling the superiority of women, I can just take an easier role and step aside. “She’s the spiritual one!” I heard a Christian man say. “Her brain is superior to yours”, I heard a psychologist say. Brothers, let’s just step aside and let the women handle all our responsibilities. At the gate of heaven, we can attempt to throw our wives under the bus as Adam did in the garden!

The feminist movement has done serious damage to the family and church. It’s no wonder that narcissism has become almost normalized and that many young couples are too selfish to have children. 

God’s design balances empathy and justice.  When justice is missing, empathy becomes toxic and creates disfigured human beings. 

Egalitarianism

This particular “ism” states that all humans are equal in fundamental worth. One favorite Scripture that is misused is Romans 10:12. 

“ For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile – the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him.”

Romans 10:12

“…for, ‘Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’”

Romans 10:13

 Verse 12 is in a section about salvation and is nestled between two verses about belief and reward. Clearly, it’s a Scripture stating, in the process of salvation, there is no distinction of ethnicity.

“…for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

Galatians 3:27-28

This is probably the most often referred to Scripture in the egalitarian argument. It’s basically the same teaching given later to the Romans (57-58 A.D.) Again, it’s not just the Jews or just the men who can be saved, but all those who are in Christ. 

These verses are not about assignments or about the roles of men and women; they are about the equal value of souls, regardless of ethnicity or gender. 

The “Curse”

This view of the patriarchy comes from a certain interpretation of what the Lord said to Adam and Eve in the garden after the fall. God said to the woman, “He will rule over you” (Genesis 3:16).  God said to Adam, “Cursed is the ground because of you!” (Genesis 3:17).

As I step back and look at these verses, I would summarize them as saying, “Because of your fall, everything will be much harder, and you will eventually die.” 

Was there a patriarchy before or after the fall of Adam? Both.  Patriarchy is not a curse. It is God’s design for family life and for the church. 

• For what other reason would Jesus come as a man and talk about his Father?
• For what other reason would God direct the Holy Family through Joseph?
• Why would Jesus choose men as his apostles?
• Why would thousands of years of Judeo-Christian history reflect and honor God’s design (Are modern professors somehow wiser than five thousand years of spiritual leaders? Or is it another construct from the serpent?) 

Abuses

“But Jesus called them to him and said, ‘You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you; but whoever would be great among you must be your servant,and whoever would be first among you must be your slave; even as the Son of man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.’”

Matthew 20:25-28

A Christian leader doesn’t “lord it over” but is a servant leader as Jesus was (vs. 28). Jesus washed the feet of his disciples, but he was still Jesus: a leader for his disciples. 

At the church level and at the family level there have been abuses. When human beings are put in charge of anything, there can be abuses, errors, and mistakes. But it also is the case that the Christian family order is damaged by the non-Christian heads of families. So, if the bulk of mankind is non-Christian, their example of leadership (lording it over) will have a vastly negative effect on the concept of male leadership. 

Because of our fallen nature the exercise of leadership will be error prone both by the leaders and the followers, whether male or female. The influence of Eve on Adam was not the finest hour of matriarchy. As in the garden, both male and female have certain weaknesses and will make mistakes. 

“Helper”

“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’”

Genesis 2:18

Until the creation of Eve, Adam seemed to be responsible for just about everything…it was too much. He needed help and companionship. He was created first, a sign of authority and responsibility in the Bible. He named just about everything, another sign of authority. And finally, God gave him the direction for his family.

“The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to till it and keep it.”

Genesis 2:15

Adam needed a helper comparable to himself. We normally think of a helper as subordinate to the one being helped. So a carpenter’s helper would help him to get… things done but was not as totally responsible for the completed project.

It’s pointed out by those rejecting the patriarchy, that “helper” does not necessarily mean subordinate. If a parent “helps” a child learn to ride a bike, or if the Lord helps me to complete my assignment, the helper is not subordinate. 

In this case, helper means helper as we would normally understand it for at least three reasons:

1. Adam had already been put in charge of the garden; and 
2. The Lord gave the instructions about the tree to Adam and not to Eve; and 
3. After the fall, the Lord confronted Adam first as a sign of his authority and responsibility.

Single Flaw Elimination

A Grace-Brethren pastor once told me of a town mentioned in the Bible, but with no other source. Archaeologists had searched but had been unable to find it. Scoffers, for years, had said this proved that the Bible was not a reliable source and was discredited as having authority for daily life. But then they found it! Did the scoffers apologize and repent? No, they just began a search for other “flaws”. Where God works with man on anything, there can be flaws. 

What if we applied that criteria to other things? Our government? Our legal system? Our Constitution? Our church? Our friends? Our spouses? Our SELVES? 

Cultural

This argument presents the Bible as heavily cultural with questionable application to our modern society. Furthermore, St. Paul is accused of being overly cultural and even misogynistic. In one discussion, as I was quoting St. Paul, I was challenged with. “What did Jesus say?” The implication was that Jesus’ teaching was pure and St. Paul’s was cultural. “Thank you very much!”, I thought to myself. Regarding the dreaded patriarchy, Jesus came to earth as a male, called God his father, and his life was saved by a father (Joseph) who obeyed God. 

There are some cultural things in the Bible and there are some cultural things in the teaching of St. Paul, but those do not eliminate the word of God. 

Marriage is a Partnership

I usually don’t like this statement because it often implies a General Partnership, where each partner is equally responsible for the operations and for the outcomes. Marriage is more like a Limited Partnership, where there is a general partner who manages the business and carries the lion’s share of responsibility and liability. Neither legal type of partnership adequately describes biblical marriage. 

I prefer the term pastoral team: There is a leader, but the members of the team have different roles, but of equal value. In our community, we rely on Job 29 and Proverbs 31 to present an ideal description of husband/father and wife/mother. The roles are also highlighted in the New Testament. 

Translation Confusion

There are a few different translation issues that are used in efforts to discredit the Bible (and the dreaded patriarchy). One difficulty stems from the many various translations or versions of the Bible which were written in Hebrew, Aramaic and Greek: Septuagint, Latin Vulgate, KJV, Revised Standard Version, etc. 

Some translations are oriented towards being literal, or word-for-word, whereas others attempt to present the “thought” of certain passages (easier reading), and some are even a paraphrased approach (easiest reading). 

A second translation issue often used to question biblical teaching involves the words themselves and the range of similar terms that can represent them. If you take a Greek sentence with ten or twelve words in it and use other similar possibilities for each word, statistically, I think, there could be thousands of possible translations (three raised to the power of 12 if you’re keeping score!)

Finally, translation involves more than choosing the right words; the Bible also teaches through imagery and word pictures that convey wisdom and meaning. For instance, Jesus chose twelve men as apostles. He didn’t say that they had to be men. 

Those who choose certain immoral practices will often play with the words. A good example is the Greek word porneia, from which we get the English word pornography. The argument against scriptural translation of “sexual immorality” is that morality changes from place to place, year to year, and culture to culture. For thousands of years Christians have known what sexual immorality is, and now we suddenly don’t> Cultures change; mores change; God is the same then and now, and so are his laws. 

“When I think of your ordinances from of old, I take comfort, O Lord”.

Psalm 119:52

“Long have I known from your testimonies that you have founded them forever.”

Psalm 119:152

Finally, here, getting back to the words and pictures lesson: 

“The wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and wickedness of men who by their wickedness suppress the truth. For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. Ever since the creation of the world his invisible nature, namely, his eternal power and deity, has been clearly perceived in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse; for although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their senseless minds were darkened.Claiming to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man or birds or animals or reptiles.

Therefore, God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves,because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.

 For this reason, God gave them up to dishonorable passions. Their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural,and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in their own persons the due penalty for their error.

And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a base mind and to improper conduct.They were filled with all manner of wickedness, evil, covetousness, malice. Full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malignity, they are gossips,slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents,foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless.Though they know God’s decree that those who do such things deserve to die, they not only do them but approve those who practice them.”

Romans 1:18-32

Paul does not use the word homosexual practice, but he paints the picture of it and the path of moral depravity.

Abuses

Because of the fall, there will always be abuses in leadership, whether by men or by women. Because males are physically stronger, their abuses will always look worse. There will always be expressions of masculinity which are toxic. There will always be expressions of femininity which are toxic. What could be worse than a woman who uses her feminine wiles to break up a family? I’m not saying that the man is not complicit or responsible; in fact he is morally responsible, despite his weakness in the face of moral seduction.

Skill Set  

There are many ways to select a leader. In fact, My TI (Training Instructor, now called an MTI) in an early recruit terrorism episode, began screaming repeatedly at the troops, “Who here can kick my butt?” Finally, one recruit, tired of the screaming, stepped forward and said, “I can, Sarge!” The sergeant barked, “O’Neil, you are now barracks chief!” 

In those days, no one had spoken of toxic masculinity, but I am fairly certain that I would have agreed that this exchange was. Yet in just several weeks, he molded our motley crew into a finely tuned marching squad, competing for the squadron cup. I was amazed at how inept and undisciplined we were, and how quickly we all could be working together as a unit! Again, there are many ways to select a leader and “skill set” is one of them. A person with good skills, gifts and talents often rises to a leadership role. But if that person lacks moral character, you may find him or her committing serious abuses. 

As a society, we tend to be impressed with the best and the brightest, but God’s ways are different. A man may not be as smart as his wife, but he will be uniquely gifted to be the head of his family. I say “will be” because I believe that it is an anointing given by God to be the head of the family, and grace will flow with the exercise of that leadership. We need to accept that role as men and women, and God will supply all that is needed for the roles that we are given. It really is a “step out of the boat” experience to be a man or a woman in a Christian family. I don’t know if Joseph was smarter than Mary; I don’t know if he was holier; I don’t know if he was more spiritual! I do know that he acted on his call and that the Lord gave him all that he needed. And I know that as Mary yielded to Joseph’s leadership, God took care of her.

I also know that most priests and ministers are often not the smartest or most gifted in their congregations.

Antinomianism

With the steep rise of narcissism, we have seen an increase in lawlessness. Originally, the term was more theological: those saved by grace were freed from moral laws and obligations. Every code of behavior was deemed legalism. The patriarchy was just another system of control and could now be rejected since we’d been saved. Even the Ten Commandments became unnecessary. 

“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, to the close of the age.” 

Matthew 28:19-20

“Teaching them to observe all I have commanded you,” does not sound as though discipleship is going to be a free-wheeling, rudderless exercise. 

“Make disciples”: students, learners, followers.

Civilization

We often say that “God has a plan for your life.” In fact, God has a plan for the whole world, every civilization, every country, every church, every household, every marriage, and every person. He is the architect and he alone knows how every piece fits together to fulfill his plan.

As an engineer, I have designed some complex mechanisms. Every part made to the proper specification and assembled according to the drawing would make the mechanism operate as planned. It was not unusual for a draftsman or designer to, years later, get a “better” idea for the design of a particular part. I would get a call asking, “How can I make this work as it used to?” My response was always, “Restore the design and the dimensions of the part that you have changed.”

When we mess with God’s design for family life and fatherhood, we can do irreparable damage to marriages and the lives of children.

The patriarchy is God’s design for family life and the church, and it is mostly significantly modeled in the Trinity.  

Summary and Conclusion*

1. The patriarchy is God’s design for family life and church life as revealed in both the Old and New Testaments, as well as thousands of years of Judeo-Christian tradition.
2. Parents and grandparents need help in dealing with most of the educational systems, which are opposed to a biblical worldview. 
3. A discussion based on two different references for truth is difficult to come to a satisfying conclusion; for example: God’s word versus human secular wisdom (See Romans 1).
4. God has given us free will, yet he expects obedience.
5. Feminism, while making significant gains for women, has done major damage to 
   God’s design for family life and church order. 
6. In the face of these challenges, many men have become lazy, unwilling fathers and have turned over the role of fatherhood to the mother.
7. The resulting toxic empathy and the missing discipline and justice have led to feminized males, increased narcissism and a delay of marriage, and a drop in the birth rate. 
8. God’s design is to balance empathy and mercy with discipline, order, and justice. 
9. Too many Christian men believe the lie that the responsibility for the family can be transferred to the wife (or their wife). 
10. Many elaborate and complex constructs or arguments have been developed by those who reject God’s design.
11. Good arguments do not redirect responsibility for family (and church) life. 
12.  Parents, grandparents and Christian leaders need to be able to mount a defense for God’s design for Christian life. “…but in your hearts reverence Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to make a defense to anyone who calls you to account for the hope that is in you, yet do it with gentleness and reverence…”  1 Peter 3:15’
13. God’s design for Christian life is a part of the deposit of faith given to all Christians for successful family and church life.
14.  Masculinity and femininity are both gifts from God. Both can be toxic with sinful distortions.
15.  Men and women are different and bring a unique and necessary set of gifts to family life.
16.  Men and women, though different, are complementary, and together as one, are God’s design for family life.  
17.  Men need to provide vision, discipline and direction for their families.
18. The attack on masculinity is a major contributing factor in delayed marriage decisions and declining birth rate.
19.  A return to God’s design for family and fatherhood is essential for successful Christian living and renewal of the Christian faith. 

*This article addresses the Biblical design for family life yet the writer is aware of exceptions (widows, orphans, single parent families, etc.) where the Body of Christ needs to provide some assistance in the case of a missing parent.

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• Return to Part 1: The Dreaded Patriarchy

Top image credit: Illustration of a Christian family gathered together in their living room for a Bible reading and discussion led by the father. Image created with digital paintbrush and AI enhanced artwork from © Artstyles.com. Used with permission.