The Dreaded Patriarchy (Part 1)

Audacity

Recently I had the wonderful experience of sharing a simple part of God’s design for family life. Now, I have a life track record of stepping on bees’ nests, and I usually am surprised, formed, and informed by the experience. I’m at the front end of a four generation, over eighty-member family that is mostly Christian, but with diverse views of how Scripture is to be understood and applied. 

Last Christmas (2025) I again noticed that the direction given to the Holy Family came from God to Joseph in his role as head of the family. Also, I noticed that in the marriages of many younger people, the wife (wives) seemed to be making many of the major decisions for the family: where to live, what to name the children, church membership, where to vacation, etc. I thought it would be helpful to show the Scriptural examples of instructions given to Joseph, and to remind my grandsons that they are ultimately responsible for their families, as was Joseph.

But as he considered this, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit; she will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” 

Matthew 1:20-21

 Now when they had departed, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, “Rise, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there till I tell you; for Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him.” And he rose and took the child and his mother by night, and departed to Egypt…

Matthew 2:13-14

But when Herod died, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt, saying, “Rise, take the child and his mother, and go to the land of Israel, for those who sought the child’s life are dead.”  And he rose and took the child and his mother and went to the land of Israel.

Matthew 2:19-21

But when he heard that Archelaus reigned over Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there and being warned in a dream, he withdrew to the district of Galilee.

Matthew 2:22

Bee’s Nests, Buzz Saws and Bunker Busters!

In my geriatric naivete’, I mistakenly tapped into Pandora’s warehouse of secular landmines! After many e-mail exchanges, I learned or was reminded of some things that might be helpful to community members, parents and grandparents. I’ll share a few of these which might be helpful in the defense of biblical truths. But first, a consideration of mindsets.

A Reminder

When two people with different worldviews try to discuss an important issue, it often seems like two ships passing in the night. There is no common ground upon which to judge the merit of each point of relevance. A biblical worldview presents a different standard of right and wrong than does a secular worldview. Finding some kind of common ground is needed: the Bible, science, the law, the Constitution, etc.  A secular mind doesn’t care much what the Bible says, and a Bible-based Christian can see clearly how successful the secular lifestyle has been (by any social metric). 

Right from Wrong

In the book, Right From Wrong, the author Josh McDowell did an extensive study of evangelical youth. His research revealed that 57% cannot affirm an objective standard for right and wrong! These are worshipping, hands waving in the air, Christian youth… the future of Christianity. 

You shall not do according to all that we are doing here this day, every man doing whatever is right in his own eyes…

Deuteronomy 12:8

The Open Bible Ministry reports that there are 37 (!) verses in Scripture that refer directly or indirectly to mankind doing what seems right in their own eyes. Two of the more direct Scriptures are:

In those days there was no king in Israel; every man did what was right in his own eyes.

Judges 17:6 and Judges 21:25

This posture is what is being taught at many of our “higher” institutions of learning, and most students do not realize the irony: the professors are stating authoritatively that the student should do what is right in his own (their professor’s) eyes. The lesson to be learned is this: when someone tells you to ignore the authority-source in your life (Church, Bible, parents, etc.) that direction should be applied directly to that person (teacher, professor, friend, etc.) as well. Once, a pastor told me that I shouldn’t believe the Bible. I told him that his position and ordination is based in the Bible and his direction to ignore the basis of his authority left him unable to give authoritative teaching. 

Constructs

Whenever a person wants to break the rules, he usually works to develop a collection of lies, partial truths and clever distortions to defend his bad behavior. I remember as a boy I got into some sort of trouble for something I did. My dad, in an unusually civilized manner, asked me to explain what happened. I cooked up the best possible construct of lies and fairy tales to explain my innocence. I then got an uncivilized whooping! I was so confused… it was a perfect story. “Why didn’t he believe it?” I asked myself. From deep inside I heard, “Because it was a lie!” Was it me, or my conscience, or the Holy Spirit? I’m not sure, but I grew up a little bit (a lot?) that day. I couldn’t fool my father. Do I think I can fool the Holy Spirit? Many people think exactly that. 

Modern movements, clever constructs, abortion, homosexual practice, feminism, anti-patriarchy, etc. all have very well-developed, clever constructs to justify what they want to do.

Lesson (from the garden): God isn’t looking for clever constructs; he wants obedience.

Subordination, Submission, Obedience

We begin with a look at the big one: someone telling me what to do. Most of the constructs, modern philosophies, anti-biblical movements are, at their core, complex defense mechanisms against someone telling me what to do. For the sake of this discussion: 1) subordination means there is an order to the relationship; 2) submission means that I am inclined to follow, and 3) obedience means that I am determined and committed to follow that order. 

In our flesh, we have been culturally trained to see subordination as a bad thing: it’s best to be in charge and not have to answer to anyone else. What a lie! Subordination, order, and submission are all good things! How do we know that? These are all modeled by the life of Jesus. 

Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing; for whatever he does, that the Son does likewise.

John 5:19

 For I have not spoken on my own authority; the Father who sent me has himself given me commandment what to say and what to speak. And I know that his commandment is eternal life. What I say, therefore, I say as the Father has bidden me.”

John 12:49-50

Even the Romans knew that.

“As he entered Capernaum, a centurion came forward to him, beseeching him and saying, ‘Lord, my servant is lying paralyzed at home, in terrible distress.’ And he said to him, ‘I will come and heal him.’ But the centurion answered him, ‘Lord, I am not worthy to have you come under my roof; but only say the word, and my servant will be healed.  For I am a man under authority, with soldiers under me; and I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes, and to another, ‘Come,’ and he comes, and to my slave, ‘Do this,’ and he does it. When Jesus heard him, he marveled, and said to those who followed him, ‘Truly, I say to you, not even in Israel have I found such faith. I tell you, many will come from east and west and sit at table with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven while the sons of the kingdom will be thrown into the outer darkness; there men will weep and gnash their teeth. And to the centurion Jesus said, ‘Go; be it done for you as you have believed.’ And the servant was healed at that very moment.”

Matthew 8:5-13

A marching band, a military squadron, an orchestra, a surgical team, an airline crew… these are all common examples of excellent teamwork in good order. So, if order and subordination are good, why would we not expect the same in a marriage, a family, a church or a denomination? 

Because of the fall, we can tend to see leadership in a power-hungry way instead of a service or ministry.

“But Jesus called them to him and said, ‘You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them.  It shall not be so among you; but whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave; even as the Son of man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.’”

Matthew 20:25-29

Even supernatural power can be seen as used in the wrong way. 

“On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you evildoers.’”

Matthew 7:22-23

God gave us free will, but his plan is that he would be in charge; he would give us instructions and we would follow him. It is his kingdom, after all! 

We will continue to look at some of these topics. Most have been written about by scholars on both sides of the issues. If you require a scholarly approach from a biblical worldview, read Man and Woman in Christ, Stephen B. Clark, 1980.

*This article addresses the Biblical design for family life yet the writer is aware of exceptions (widows, orphans, single parent families, etc.) where the Body of Christ needs to provide some assistance in the case of a missing parent.

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• Go to to Part 2: The Dreaded Patriarchy

Top image credit: Illustration of a Christian family gathered together in their living room for a Bible reading and discussion led by the father. Image created with digital paintbrush and AI enhanced artwork from © Artstyles.com. Used with permission.