I grew up in a faithful Catholic conservative family. We were Sunday mass goers, praying blessings before meals each day. My family really had a big impact on the way the foundation was laid for my life. And my faith was always important to me. It was always one of the priorities.
When I went to high school, though, I think some of the different pressures around me and different social norms that were pretty counter to our faith very much started to pull me away more and more. Eventually, my faith just became a lower priority and it was starting to compete with different things I was doing in my life.
When I went to college, it was like a rug I was standing on just immediately got pulled out from underneath my feet, and I realized how insecure were a lot of things I was pushing my happiness in.
Around that time, I went to a Sunday evening mass, and as I walked in the lyrics from the first opening song were by Saint Augustine – “My heart is restless until it rests in You.” I remember staring at the song sheet and thinking, “these words are true, these words are true. I’m not going to be happy until I start building my life on these words.”
As I got to know men from the Brotherhood of Hope and began to join in their life, what attracted me about these brothers was that I saw men who had given all to Jesus, and that they had brotherhood alongside one another. They strove after a high ideal, and were willing to offer everything for that. And just knowing that the man next to you has said “yes” fully and is pursuing the same ideal as you are – there’s a profound friendship and profound bond that we experience because of that. I could see that in the brothers, and I wanted that as well.
It’s simply that Jesus is enough for me. And that’s really the heart of our charism, that to give my life to Jesus is enough, and that he can provide for everything for a full life.
To give my life to God is the greatest joy in my life – to have this opportunity to be called, and to have the grace for it. I can’t imagine a different life for myself now. That’s to give myself fully to the One who gave himself to me. It’s the proper response for me. It’s what I want to do at the depths of my heart. It’s my deepest desire to lay down my life for the Lord, and to know that my yes will impact others is a great joy as well.
This reflection by Brother Austin Riordan is an edited transcript from the Brotherhood of Hope YouTube video clip, Vocation Story – Br. Austin. Visit the Brotherhood of Hope to learn more about their life and mission.