My husbandâs family lived a dayâs drive away, while my family lived only an hour away. Yet our children were closer to his parents than mine. It seemed backward!
When we visited my parents, we would only spend a few hours there. The adults would sit around and talk while the kids played with the few toys my mom kept at her home. The visits were, as two of my children told me, boring. Itâs not that my parents ignored the children but there wasnât much to do and only so much to say and soon we were driving back home.
When we visited my husbandâs family, we stayed for a week. We participated in their daily life. This resulted in plenty of time both for the adults to enjoy conversing with each other and for significant interactions between his parents and our children. Throughout the day, there were opportunities for one-on-one relating between grandparent and grandchild, as well as times when everyone could join in group activities. Sometimes we opted to do the âtourist thingsâ, but mostly we just lived together. It was bonding. I donât think we ever saw my husbandâs family more than twice a year, but those lengthy visits created good memories.
At my dadâs funeral a couple of years ago, one of my nephews shared about how much Grandpa meant to him. They lived close to each other and had spent a large quantity of time together. His experience of my fatherâs love was clearly stronger than my childrenâs. Again I asked, why?
Just as a peer-friendship suffers when there is not enough time together, so does friendship with the âyoung peopleâ in your life.
Quality time happens best when there is enough quantity time to produce quality time. Even though my in-laws lived farther from us and we saw them less frequently, when we did see them, we had the quantity time that allowed for quality time to happen.
Just as a peer-friendship suffers when there is not enough time together, so does friendship with the âyoung peopleâ in your life. As grandparents, my husband and I are discerning how to have the right quantity of time to ensure quality time.
For discussion:
Does your quantity time lead to quality time? If not, why not?Â
For action:
Examine your time spent with your grandchildren â think strategically. Is our time well spent or just spent?
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Top image credit: Duo photos of grandparents spending quality time with grandchildren, from Bigstock.com, stock photo IDs: 158033348 and 215933506. Used with permission.
Marion Schleusener is the grandmother of six and lives in Lansing, Michigan.