My leadership at my church feels fruitless; my last few sermons stank; in the first 34 weeks of this year, I published only 25 āweeklyā articles; and all my service to a partner charity feels clumsy, like Iām bungling everything in the eleventh hour.
Recently, I spend less time with my wife than I want; my brother (who lives in Australia) is visiting for two months and Iāve only met with him once; Iām having far fewer one-on-one meetings to care for acquaintances; and Iām falling behind in paperwork, housework, and email.
Bilbo Baggins once reflected, āI feel like butter scraped over too much toast.ā My heart says, āMe too.ā I have too much to do and too little time to do it.
My activities suffer from inadequate attention because Iām off to the next thing, which Iāll also do badly because something else cries out for for me to attend to it poorly too. This morning I read this old quote:
God created the world out of emptiness, and as long as we are empty, he can make something out of us.
God is calling me to embrace my emptiness and then give it to Him.
He Guides Us All There
Time management wisdom tells us to focus on the important and shed the unimportant. Thatās easy when you have one ākidā but when about when you have nine? I donāt sense God releasing me from any of my ādependentsā (though I keep asking!).
God stretches us, leading us to a life beyond natural resources. There is something he likes about the poor and he seems attracted to the needy. Because we empty-ones cry out to him. He not only calls us to being poor in spirit, he guides us to that very place:
- He leads Moses and Israelites into the Red Sea ātrapā, where only God can save.
- He calls Gideon to reduce his army from tens of thousands to three hundred.
- He sends schoolboy Davidānot strapping Saulāto fight hulking Goliath.
Why does God continually man-handle us into places of weakness? Because he needs our poverty more than our riches; he wants our neediness more than our usefulness.
Which is exactly where God is bringing me. Itās the total opposite of self-esteem and natural giftedness; he is transforming my spirit of pride (I can do it!) into a spirit of emptiness (HELP!)
Godās friendship is with those who know their poverty.
We Need That Friendship
Too many books on spiritual wisdom teach us exactly how to prosper: The Essentials of Raising Godly Children, or The System for a Successful Prayer Life. But Christianity teaches us that our greatest need is friendship with God. Oswald Chambers said it this way,
He can accomplish nothing with the person who thinks that he is of use to God.
The most important aspect of Christianity is not the work we do, but the relationship [with Him] that we maintain and the surrounding qualities produced by that relationship.
That is all God asks, and it is the one thing that is continually under attack.
Amid my ātoo much to do and too little time to do it,ā God is calling me back to friendship with him. Itās not the giftedness I offer, but the poverty I bring.
All we really need is need.
Sam
Ā© Copyright 2020, Beliefs of the Heart, Ltd. All rights reserved.
Top photo credit: man holding empty wallet, image from Bigstock.com, copyright by Marikun21, stock photo ID: 363161134
Sam Williamson grew up in Detroit, Michigan, USA. He is the son of a Presbyterian pastor and grandson of missionaries to China. He moved to Ann Arbor, Michigan in 1975. He worked in London England from 1979 to 1982, helping to establishĀ Antioch, a member community of the Sword of the Spirit. After about twenty-five years as an executive at a software company in Ann Arbor he sensed God call him to something new. He left the software company in 2008 and now speaks at menās retreats, churches, and campus outreaches. His is married to Carla Williamson and they have four grown children and grandchildren. He has a blog site,Ā www.beliefsoftheheart.com, and can be reached at Sam@BeliefsoftheHeart.com.