Made by the hand of God
In the second chapter of Genesis, God says, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” (Genesis 2:18, 21-23)
Man was made by the hand of God. Woman was made by the hand of God from the man and for the man. The man slept and gave a rib. In return he received… what delight! Sleep is like death; the man “dies” in order to give life to his wife and receives her in whom he delights; she gives him joy and life in abundance. She, because she came from the side of the man, seeks to be one with him. The man cares for, protects, and cherishes the woman and she, in turn, gives herself to him to build their life in love. This is their life of mutual self-giving.
Ask yourself: How can I die to myself in order to give others life?
How Christ Loves the Church
In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul exhorts: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25)
Jesus does not love his church “within reason”. He did not hold onto his equality with God but took the form of a servant and gave himself completely. Totally. He died. And every day, a man must die for his wife and a woman for her husband. Each must choose to do the hard thing; to set aside preferences with grace and deliberation and cheerfully, a little at a time. Marriage is a vocation, a “calling”, a life lived as a sign of the love of God himself, an “all” kind of level of love. Are you willing to leave your home, your country, your culture, your preferences, even your life, to live as one with someone else? This is the call of marriage. This is the love of Christ for his body, the love to which we are called in marriage.
Ask yourself: How can I lay down my preferences in order to better love others?
Who does the saving?
Paul writes to the Corinthians, “For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?” (1 Corinthians 7:16)
Our highest goal in the Christian life is to achieve eternal life – to reach heaven! Our task in our relationships is to do everything we can to help the other person get to heaven. We point the other to Jesus, our savior, our example, the One who has walked the way of holiness before us and shown us how to do it. We not only point others to Jesus, but we are Jesus to one another. The only way we can be Jesus to others is by knowing him and imitating him. How do we do that? Not by passing judgment. By prayer. By reading Scripture. By praying together. And by being humble before God and one another.
Ask yourself: In my relationships, how can I be Jesus to others?
“Til death do us part”
In the gospel according to Matthew, we read that Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Matthew 19:3-6)
Jesus goes back to the beginning by telling the Pharisees that in the beginning God created them; man and woman he created them, in his image he created them. The two become one. Such intimacy! It carries within it a foreshadowing of the infinite. Along the way sin comes in, failings occur, disappointments overcome, and the life of God is diverted. So, man makes excuses and adjustments and because of his hardness of heart, “til death do us part” gives way to “man will cast asunder.” Yet, made in the image of God, this man and this woman were created to live as one ’til death! God is the third member of the relationship. He is the consoler and healer; he is love and the giver of grace bigger than all our weaknesses and failings, the softener of hard hearts. In him we can never be defeated.
Ask yourself: How can I lean into God’s grace in helping me have good relationships?
Top image credit: marriage rings on a Bible with gold cross, from Bigstock.com, © by miroslavmisiura, stock photo ID: 229339918. Used with permission.
Mike and Mary Miklosovic are members of the Word of Life, a member community of the Sword of the Spirit. They live in Ypsilanti, Michigan USA and have numerous grandchildren.