Contentment.
I would love to say this article
will solve all your problems and
head you towards a simple and
stress-free life. Unfortunately I
don’t have that kind of power but I
do know someone who does.
In my
life I have had ups and downs. Like
most I have struggled with my faith
and even questioned if God actually
exists. I have lost friends, seen
people close to me suffer and felt
helpless. But I have found myself to
have more Joy now than I could have
experienced without the pain.
So far,
I would say I’ve had a pretty good
life! I am doing a job that I love,
I have an amazing family, incredible
friends and a faith that grows
stronger by the day. However I also
fear, I have doubt and I struggle
with many things. I want to
share some of my experiences with
you, in the hope that I can help you
understand how I have learned to
become content in all
circumstances.
When I
was 17 years old I lost a friend who
I had grown up with and been very
close to. It was a sudden,
unexpected death and as a teenager
who thought she had just found her
faith in a most personal way, I was
devastated. But more than this; I
was angry. I couldn’t understand why
this had happened and most of all I
didn’t want to – God was wrong and
did not act in love for me or my
friend’s family. I became quite a
hardened person, I did not ever want
to talk about what I was feeling and
after many tears I did not want to
cry again. So I shut myself off from
emotion and from love.
It took
a long time and some very patient,
loving people’s help but I
eventually found my way back to
speaking to God. One of the big game
changers for me was the Bible. I
began reading it again and used it
to understand God’s plan for me.
The
first bible passage I let mould me
after the death of my friend was
this:
“Therefore,
since we are surrounded by so great
a cloud of witnesses, let us also
lay aside every weight and sin that
clings so closely, and let us run
with endurance the race that is set
before us, looking to Jesus, the
founder and perfecter of our faith…” (Hebrew
12: 1 -2)
Clinging
to the death of my friend, the
injustice of it, was my weight. I
felt justified in my grief and at
times even enjoyed wallowing in it.
God could have stormed in, given me
a good talking to and sent me on my
way but He knew me and loved me so
much that instead He waited with
expectant faith that I would find my
way back to His love. Joyfully I can
say that I did!
Sisters,
God is not a tyrant in the sky who
will get angry as we do and turn His
back on us. He is a Father who loves
us so intentionally and so
practically. He will not love
everyone in the same way because we
all need love in different ways. But
He has no favourites and He does not
look at our sin. He looks at our
hearts and He loves them. I am a
sinful person and I always will be
but God has forgiven me and always
will. I will never understand the
love of God, I will never understand
why good people are taken from us
and I will never understand why,
even though I love God, I will
continue to sin against Him. What
God has taught me is that I
don’t need to understand, I
simply need to know that His
love for me will never end and
He will never give up on me.
For me,
this is contentment. It is being willing
to accept that I do not
understand. There
are things that I will never
understand but that is ok because
God loves me and He loves you. God
won victory when Jesus rose from the
dead and opened the gates of heaven.
My goal is
heaven, therefore nothing on this
earth can shake me, not even
death.
But
friends, I did not get to this place
by myself. It has taken many years
for me to allow God into my life. I
encourage you to find someone that
has a faith like my friends and
family do and let that person
inspire you in it. But most of all
don’t be afraid to be honest with
God – he knows what is in your heart
but will never force himself into
that area. He is waiting for you to
let Him in and you do this by being
honest and talking to Him.
My
challenge to you is this: lay aside
whatever sin you have, lay aside the
suffering and pain that clings to
you. Give them to Jesus and accept
Him as your loving Father who waits
in anticipation for the day He can
welcome you home. If you can do this
and free yourself from fear; you
will know what contentment is.
“I
have learned to be content with
whatever I have. I have learned the
secret of living in every situation.”
Philippians 4: 11-12
